TIME OFF
I seem to have fallen in with lotus-eaters.
If there was something they were meant to remember
It’s long forgotten. Weekends take ages.
Strangers are included and their secrets
Are not probed for; the hosts have none of their own.
Their minds are quite unclouded by any fear
Of us holding back on facts or liking.
It’s my turn to queue for the croissants au beurre
While they make tea, put out the raspberry jam.
The blog has removed the spaces between lines. Thoughts on where they might go would be appreciated (i had space after the even numbered lines). I was trying to create a somewhat soporific effect.
ReplyDeleteOdd that it removed the spaces. I'll look at that, see if something can be done.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if you are subconsciously getting ready for Bloom's day with your lotus eaters? Or maybe quite intentionally.
Intriguing poem, I would be uneasy about 'probed for', well, just the 'for' feels uncomfortable to me, but the line spacing might be the problem. And then the two uses of 'their'. I love the lotus eaters idea and this feels like just the start of a longer exploration of your theme. Because the tired, dry voice offers a mood I am interested in following at the table.